Shifting from Limiting Beliefs
I had a fun opportunity to share my experience with working with Jess Lively on her Lively Community Foundation this past week! And it reminded me of some of my past limiting beliefs that especially surrounded my career.
I find it super helpful to hear how others have evolved their thinking and being and wanted to share some of my shifts.
Control and anxiety to surrendering, trusting, and detaching from the outcome
Yea, this was a tough one for me. I always heard people talking about ‘surrendering’ to what is, ‘trusting’ that all will work out, and ‘detaching’ from being attached to the outcome. But I had no idea how to actually do any of this.
It all came down to one understanding for me: choosing myself over and over. We could also call this choosing my alignment (in line with my soul and intuition) over anything else.
I have integrated the act of surrendering, trusting, and detachment into my career by choosing what is working for me and what gives me joy not just once, but in every single way. If a project, job, or even boss wasn’t working for me, instead of feeling the need to “double-down” my efforts and like it was ALL my responsibility to “make it work”, I just allowed that project/job/boss be what they needed to be and asked my intuition what I shall do now.
As The Lively Community Foundation director, I interact with the IRS a bunch. When I was just starting out, I had to apply to be able to provide grant funds to our community and wait for the IRS’ approval before launching our grant program. I remember itching for their official approval because I really wanted to “prove my worth” to the founder so she didn’t feel that she has made a mistake hiring me. I also just really really wanted her to like me (any people pleasers out there?).
There was one day where I got especially anxious since I had learned that if the IRS didn’t respond within a certain time period, I would have to start the application all over again and that would inevitably delay the grant program by many months.
I remember being in my anxious mode and then realizing that the reason I wanted to work with the Foundation and its founder was because it genuinely excited me and felt “free.” Meaning, getting to work on content that aligned with my soul felt very freeing for me. But in that moment I felt none of that freeing feeling. I felt like everything rested upon my shoulders and it was up to me to “make” the IRS accept our grant program proposal.
At that moment, I chose myself and got up from my desk, got a glass of water, took a little outdoor break, then went back to my desk to find my phone ringing. Guess who it was? The fricken IRS. A very nice man told me our application was accepted and we could start our grant program that very day.
The moment I realized that I was stuck in control and anxiety and how icky it felt, I knew it wasn’t worth it to keep myself in that place. If the reason I started working with the Foundation was to lessen my control and anxiety and increase the feeling of free in my life, I had to actually do it in the moment of working on its work.
Believing I wasn’t worthwhile to trusting the flow of life
Related to the top belief, I deep down didn’t feel worthwhile and to compensate for this I would try to control life.
The idea of trusting the natural unfolding of life didn’t feel possible for me since I basically didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t trust that without my control, life would flow in a positive direction.
But the tenacious girl that I am, as I learned about intuition and how others use it to flow in life, I knew this was a limiting belief I had to bust. The best way I have found is to test it.
In 2019 I quit my job. It was a great job that taught me lots and allowed me to grow but there wasn’t much more for me to grow into there. So I quit and I traveled to India for a few months, spent time with family and friends there, saw new cities, made an impromptu trip to Hong Kong, took an Ayurvedic course, and ate some really good food. When I was coming back to the states, I had no idea what I would be doing. I wasn’t anxious about it since I had a lot of opportunities in front me: consulting, health coaching, and yoga teaching but I just didn’t know which way I was going to go.
Within a few days of landing in the states, I decided to attend an event by my favorite podcaster, Jess Lively. Very casually she mentioned that the Foundation she started needed someone to manage it and if we knew of anyone who could do that to let her know. Right when I heard her say this, something in me jumped. I knew this was an opportunity I could do since I had spent years in the nonprofit world and managed people and projects.
I didn’t speak to her right away about this. For whatever reason, I felt pretty calm and collected and had no fear of another person getting to her first. Within a month of that event, I started working as the Foundation director. My email to Jess led to a call between us and led to me working with her.
It felt like such a magical experience of flow - life leading me to the next opportunity without any control or fear on my end.
A lack to an abundance-mindset
A fun new learning: there are endless possibilities and opportunities for me and for everyone else in the world.
We do not live in a zero-sum game where we have to compete for our dreams and desires.
There isn’t a clear path to this understanding for me except that the top two shifts helped me realize that if I can allow my highest alignment for myself, if I can love myself to do what and be who I truly want, and if I can trust that life is always leading me to my next fun experience then that means anything is possible and allowed.
I can have as much money, time, and positive outcomes as I enjoy having. There is no cap to anything in life.
A mantra you could use if you ever fall into the trap of limited thinking especially in terms of possibilities for yourself is: I expand in abundance, success, and love every day as I inspire those around me to do the same (thank you Gay Hendrix for this!).
There you go! I hope you found this useful and please feel free to share it with anyone who might also find it helpful.
You can email me at nishi@joyparade.co if you have any questions on the above.
Much love,
Nishi
